Julie Menanno
Marriage and family therapist working from attachment theory and emotionally focused therapy. Author of Secure Love and the person behind The Secure Relationship.
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What they believe
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Attachment patterns tend to surface most clearly in the situations that carry the greatest emotional risk.
Attachment patterns tend to show themselves where the risk feels greatest.
juliemenanno.substack.comSaid 11 Jun 2026This on korrents
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Getting angry quickly in an anxiously attached person is a threat-detection habit their nervous system learned, not a character flaw.
When you get angry fast, it usually is not because you are "too much." It is often because your nervous system learned to live on alert.
juliemenanno.substack.comSaid 29 Apr 2026This on korrents
The bold line is korrents’ wording; the quote is theirs. These 2: what they wrote before what they said aloud, one per source, newest first.
Beliefs
Korrents What they believe 4 beliefs — each backed by an exact quote.
Each is a — compiled by korrents.com, not by them: the one-line wordings are korrents', the quotes are theirs.
Recent
Attachment patterns tend to surface most clearly in the situations that carry the greatest emotional risk.
Attachment patterns tend to show themselves where the risk feels greatest.
Confused About Your Attachment Style? Keep the 4 C’s in Mind Said 11 Jun 2026
Avoiding conflict does not actually resolve it, so suppressed feelings build up until they surface all at once.
But avoidance does not actually resolve anything, so feelings build underneath the surface.
Confused About Your Attachment Style? Keep the 4 C’s in Mind Said 11 Jun 2026
Getting angry quickly in an anxiously attached person is a threat-detection habit their nervous system learned, not a character flaw.
When you get angry fast, it usually is not because you are "too much." It is often because your nervous system learned to live on alert.
How Anger Shows Up in Anxious Attachment, and What the Work Is Said 29 Apr 2026
Show 1 more
Underneath the anger of anxious attachment is unresolved grief about not having been responded to.
Underneath anger is sadness over all your cumulative experiences in life of not being responded to, past and present. The sadness around powerlessness. Unresolved grief.
How Anger Shows Up in Anxious Attachment, and What the Work Is Said 29 Apr 2026
What is a korrent?
A korrent is a belief a person has stated in their own words: one sentence stating the claim, backed by a quote and a source, kept at korrents.com.
Under a name here, the quoted block is what they actually said. The korrent beneath it is the claim those words support, in korrents' wording — tap it to see the record, its source, and who else holds it.
Nobody here wrote their own korrents. They are compiled from public statements, and a person can change their mind, which is recorded too.
Recommends rcmnd
rcmnd What they recommend 2 things — each backed by an exact quote.
Compiled by rcmnd.app, not by them: the quotes are theirs, and each links to the post it was copied from.
Recent
Recommends Attachment Style Quiz
Take the free Attachment Style Quiz and get personalised insight into how you connect, where your patterns come from, and your next step toward secure love.
thesecurerelationship.com 1 Jan 2024
their own
Recommends Secure Love
Secure Love shows you how to understand your attachment style, calm conflict, and build the secure connection every relationship needs.
thesecurerelationship.com 1 Jan 2024
their own
Where they publish
Site The Secure Relationship Her practice and courses, built on attachment theory and emotionally focused therapy.
Where the couples work is: her practice, her book Secure Love, and the courses that teach the attachment cycle she writes about — anxious protest, avoidant withdrawal, and the repair between them.
Open thesecurerelationship.com
Link verified 3 Sept 2026.
Newsletter Julie Menanno on Love Occasional essays on attachment styles and what the work on them actually is.
Essays on what an attachment style is and is not — anger in anxious attachment as a threat-detection habit rather than a character flaw, and the grief underneath it.
Open juliemenanno.substack.com
Recent
- Confused About Your Attachment Style? Keep the 4 C’s in Mind 11 Jun 2026 When you stop looking at attachment as a label and start looking at it through context, connection, comfort, and conflict, things usually get much clearer.
- How Anger Shows Up in Anxious Attachment, and What the Work Is 29 Apr 2026 When you get angry fast, it usually is not because you are “too much.” It is often because your nervous system learned to live on alert.
Link verified 3 Sept 2026. Recent items update automatically from the channel.
Elsewhere Instagram The largest channel: short attachment-theory posts for couples.
Short posts on attachment cycles in couples, which is where most people meet her work before the book.
Link verified 3 Sept 2026.
About the English under a post
Some people here publish in a language other than English. Where they do, this site shows a machine translation beneath the post, in this typeface — the site's own, not theirs.
The post itself is never changed, moved or hidden: what is set in the serif above is exactly what the person published, and it is what to quote them on. A translation can be wrong in ways that matter, especially about tone.
Only the post's own words are translated. A quoted post, a linked article and a belief on korrents.com are left in their original language.